Top ten things to do on Oahu

Top Ten Things to see in Oahu.  

Not your run of the mill list with the usual sights, but heck, there are plenty of those.

10: Local breakfast at McDonalds. 

 Spam and rice and eggs.  Just kidding.  No really.  

9: Dog the Bounty Hunter retail store.  

A small shrine to ego run amok.  Grab breakfast at the cafe next door.  Overpriced but not a single photo of a reality show star in the place--the cafe, that is...

8: Flea market at Aloha Stadium.  

Purchase cheap t shirts for the blood sucking leeches back home. Seven for $20.  Plenty of key chains, too. Oh and cheap luggage to fill with souveneers that you simply must have.   Just a dollar to get in.  

7:Free Friday Fireworks show in Waikiki.

 Happens at 8 pm or so.  Great for people watching as the masses make their way to the show...it's like two shows for the price of one...but it's free.  

6: Elvis statue at the Neil Blaisdell center.

 Just off ward ave between the arena and the convention space.  Not as photogenic as The other King statue, but more fun.  Elvis never killed anyone for getting in his shadow,so bonus points there, unless you're into that sort of thing, which would be creepy.  

5: Tuna Rolls at 7-11. 

 What?  Yep, the tuna rolls at that icon of Big Bite hot dogs with free chili sauce are amazing.  Not so much for the taste, instead for the nifty roll-your-own packaging that keeps the seaweed separated until the very last moment--to maintain a crunchy fresh sort of experience in your mouth-- even though it was made the day before in some mysterious factory somewhere.  Crunchy. Ricey. Seaweedlishious!

4:Japanese Tourists. 

 Fashion forward.  Always polite.  And the language barrier keeps you on your toes.   Great people watching.  Extra points for cos-play wonderfulness!

3: Paradise Cove Luau.  

They say Las Vegas is the ninth island of Hawaii and there is simply no better evidence of this than the Paradise Cove Luau show.  It is Las Vegas in grass skirt and shows more skin than the show at the Polynesian Cultural Center...oh and they serve alcohol.    Just kidding...do you think I'd include a Luau?   Number 3 actually goes to the

Shrine to Spam selection at Walmart.  

In fact the Hawaiian Aisles (pun intended) at Walmart are filled with all sorts of stuff from China...just like the Walmart back home.    Be sure to check out Macadamia Nut Land at Walmart, too.  

2:  The streets of Honolulu. 

 Now granted you could pay money and go to the world's largest maze at the  Dole Plantation, but when the mystery of urban street planning in Honolulu is so close at hand, why bother?   When you can see tourists, maps in hand, trying to decipher where they are and where they want to be,it is living proof that city planning can be both entertaining and fun!    Rumor has it years ago, before animal rights became a concern, the city planners put down a large mat made from palm fronds in the shape of the island in one of those extinct volcano things.  They then dipped a couple dozen Mongoose into different colored paint and set them loose.  The resulting chaos was then used as a reference to build actual highways.  Yes, I'm making this up!

1: The beach.  

Just pick it.  Heck, blindfold yourself, spin around a few times and throw a flip flop up in the air and travel in the direction the toe points toward.  You will find a fantastic beach.  I am not kidding about this.   They will not have a beach like it in Modesto or New Mexico or Texas.   The worst beach here is a million times better than the best beach in Chicago.

So, there you have it!   I'll be making more Top Ten Lists with things to do in Hawaii.  Until then, Mahalo.